Word to Wives
"A woman can forgive a man
'Most anything," my mother stated.
"If he just asks. She even can
Forget, sometimes. But if she's fated
For happiness, she'll have to learn
How to forgive the little blunders
Men make, unknowing, that sting and burn
A woman's heart until she wonders
If he's got sense at all. Forgiving
A man because he doesn't know
He needs forgiveness, takes good living
And loving. Women do it, though.
The wise don't mention it. Men look driven
At being told they've been forgiven."
Jane Merchant from halfway up the sky 1957
I hope my readers understand that if there's any preaching going on here, it is to myself!
This poem is typical of Southern women of days gone by. I'm not saying that she's right or wrong, and certainly not in every case. I do know that I wish I'd read it before I got married. Why? Because men sometimes don't have good sense! I wish I had not been so sensitive to small hurts--"little blunders."
Maybe Jane Merchant's mother's advice could make for happier marriages...or longer ones.
What do you think?
I was always amazed that my husband sometimes didn't even know that he had done something that I considered hurtful. I think men have a strong sense of being who they are without apology. It took me a long time to realize that I had to accept him the way he is. Luckily all his good deeds outweighed the times when I expected more.
ReplyDeleteDewena, Those are the sweetest pictures. I say, if you are willing to forgive, then you have to let the thing you forgave go. You can not keep bring that transgression up, over and over. Try not to sweat the small stuff.xoxo,Susie
ReplyDeleteWhat a good and wise poem!
ReplyDeleteForgiveness sometimes can be hard because of our pride, but it always feels better when we do forgive! I can never stay mad too long.. That was a great poem!!! Thank you for sharing!!
Okay, who are the lovely people in the pictures... the lady is GLOWING!
ReplyDeleteAnother good blog post, you're such a treasure!
there was a 10 year age difference in my husband and me. i sometimes think now that he must have felt like he was finishing 'raising' me! i was 18. he was 28.
ReplyDeletevery wise words here. all new brides would do well to read them.
i've never thought it sounds like you're preaching! i love new insights.
and i do adore old photos like the ones you're sharing here. people were good looking then weren't they!
I wish I had read this as a young bride! Thank you for sharing it!
ReplyDeleteAhhh, yes, the little blunders....:)
ReplyDelete