Sunday, October 25, 2020

As A Woman

 

[Harper's Bazaar September 1942]

As a woman, a woman much older than the model above, I have sometimes felt overcome with longing these last seven months.

A longing to get out and shop like she is.

At an antique shop, even at Goodwill.

A longing to go to the hair salon for that polished look that can only be gotten there.

To eat lunch out, to celebrate my son's recent birthday at a good steak restaurant downtown.

To go grocery shopping myself instead of making a list for my husband. 

To shop for pumpkins at the Farmer's Market downtown, for the magnificent eye candy colors as well as for pumpkins.

To see a movie at the theater. 

A longing to talk to strangers waiting in the checkout lane and at the post office.

I don't want to be a cry baby about all this. I do count my blessings. I love being at home with my husband and dachshunds. But sometimes it really gets to me, this longing to be out and among other people. This feeling of isolation that realistically looks like it may be going on for another year.

Yes, we senior citizens have to be kept safe...but safe for when? And what mental and emotional health will we be in by then?

Yes, it could be worse, much worse. It always could be worse but that's never much current comfort.

Don't mind me; I'll light a candle and turn on my music and stop complaining...until another day.