And I don't want it to!
I never do since May is a favorite month but even more so now when time has taken on new importance.
The calendar above is one my daughter Christy has given me for years, its easel refilled for the coming year as an annual Christmas gift. It is by Karen Adams and each month is an artistic jewel.
This month a white mouse is the jockey on a happy dog, standing in, I think, for the Kentucky Derby in May.
Postponed: the race, the hats, mint juleps, My Old Kentucky Home.
Later on in my pretty calendar there is an illustration featuring the Olympics.
Postponed
Just as so many other events are being postponed or greatly altered. Mother's Day dinners...
Beautiful flowers and cards still came...
And even a lovely and careful visit.
But as I turn to other months in the calendar I see a month of mermaids, newly sharpened pencils, jack-o'-lanterns...
And so 2020 speeds by.
Do I want it to? In hopes that better news is ahead?
Or am I afraid for it to?
Regardless, each month has a way of galloping by.
What do I do with it, the time that is ahead in this month, in June, July, August?
Surely it ought to be different than it was in 2019... or 1961.
I can't just kill time until a better day comes.
Whenever I hear people say "This will help pass the time away," I wonder at them. We all have just so much time and just "passing it away" is rather like throwing jewels down a well.
Gladys Taber
The Stillmeadow Road
What jewels will I not throw down the well, even in the months of a pandemic? And I confess I threw hours down mindlessly during the first fearful weeks.
Dear friends who visit here, what jewels are the most important to you now? Have they changed since our world slowed down (or is it speeding up)?
Are you anything like me, full of vim and vigor and determination one day, fed up to the ears another, bursting out sobbing when you least expect it?
Do you ever get tired of hearing "we're all in this together"? Has it ceased to be comforting? Are you mad or sad or both, all within 20 minutes?
That's all of my venting. I think.
What a beautiful calendar! I looked at Karen Adams' web site...she has beautiful cards and stationary, too. What a lovely gift from your daughter every year.
ReplyDeleteI am tired of all the upcoming events being cancelled. There are no summer fests and concerts. I loved our town's weekly summer band concerts. The farmer's markets are now far and few between and they have such strict shopping guidelines, that it wouldn't even be a pleasure to shop at them anymore. Get in, get out. No looking around.
I'm afraid I'm still wasting hours and days. A lot of times, the days and weeks are just a blur, with not much accomplished except for the necessary housework and cooking.
So yes, I am like you in that some days I feel "up" and energetic and wanting to do a lot of things (and actually doing them!) and then there are days like yesterday and today where I've done the bare minimum and feel very edgy. And yes, I'm definitely over the saying, "We're all in this together." While it was lovely at first, it now just makes me roll my eyes. It's overdone.
I think maybe we're done, too. ;-) Better days are ahead. Right? :-)
I hope better days are ahead, Melanie. Edgy--yes! Fidgety.
DeleteI'm so glad I'm not the only one tired of "We're all in this together." Especially from celebrities. While I can enjoy seeing celebrities in their houses and a few of them are inspiring, mostly I just think "sure, it's okay for you cause you can afford to have everything delivered, you can afford to be out of work."
It's stories from people who are struggling that mean the most to me. And stories from ordinary people. I've been grateful for blog friends' posts. So many times I've written down something they've said, something they've suggested, a recipe they've made. Those things help. As do posts about their struggles, their feelings.
Melanie, I don't think time taken off from everything except the basics is wasting time. Maybe it's what's keeping us sane. I just really wish I would use my down time for something creative at least. I mean I could be working on my writing during those times, not watching a movie. But I can't seem to make myself do that as often as I'd like.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this here, I appreciate it!
LOLOL!!! "we're all in this together"?
ReplyDeleteand there I thought I was the only person who was SICK AND TIRED of hearing that!
I love this post. it is most life affirming even in these days of chaos and the confusion of re-opening and economics and disease!
and there is your post of love and happy memories and such a sweet calendar!
this afternoon a knock came on my door. it was the manager of the complex who has to do a site check when we're going to move. she is also the same one who had Covid Virus 19 at the end of March... and who also had unknowingly exposed me when I sat across from her desk on that day... and so had to self quarantine for weeks after using her pen and being exposed! back in the days when we hardly knew what was happening!
she was very cheerful today and says she feels fine now. I asked her what it's like and she said … "worse than anything I've ever had in my entire life!"
she ran a high fever and she said it felt like 200 pounds or more was sitting on her chest and she panted shallowly just to be able to breathe a little. she's fairly young which I'm sure helped her survive it. it was good to see that she's okay and back to normal because she has a husband and two small girls. very scary for her!
and now it is totally SPRING! and the time of new beginnings. the word GRATEFUL comes to my mind. XOXO
Tammy, it's getting so close to your move! But was that a little freaky having her come in your apartment? Did she wear a mask? And she must have her youth going for her to already feeling fine.
DeleteI'm feeling better and better about being sick of television's favorite platitude. And will it not be the best day ever when "COVID-19" is not mentioned on the news all day long? Even if that means back to politics instead?
You know how I love autumn, as much as you do, right? But I am so happy that it is Spring now! Yes, thank God! Daily I feel like going out and hugging every tree and flower. Little miracles outside every morning and that reminds me of my most favorite hymn of all, Great is Thy Faithfulness--morning by morning new mercies I see. That should pick my spirits up!
Dear Sis, you are spot on! I too go up one day & down the next. Life is passing by & I admit I question why. May is almost gone, I also recognized yesterday & then what. My calendar has been empty since March and I don’t have anything to anticipate in the upcoming months. There are birthday & holidays but for me no gatherings to celebrate.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, life is postponed!
Or will we be released from this pandemic exile?
While I am happy for younger family members that do get out, I miss socializing with my family the most!
We are in this together doesn’t really soothe my anxiety.
I read my daily devotionals, read my Bible and pray daily.
Walk couple of miles some days & try to absorb God’s beautiful nature.
I wonder why after I experience what I feel was a good day another day has me in tears?
Thanks for sharing your emotions in your post.
I know God is with me and I must choose to be positive & PRAY!
Love you dear sister 💟
Dear Deb, it is those unexpected plunges to the valley where I surprise myself with deep sobs that throw me. After all, you and I have handled all kinds of crises in our lives and stayed strong, been someone our family can count on, I think. And we are now and will be again when needed. We're prayer warriors and mama lions where our children and grandchildren are concerned. But we've both just lost our mother and are still in mourning. No wonder we feel the fears sometimes lately!
DeleteI am so thankful for you and our other two sisters! Each of us is doing our best to keep lives as normal and safe as possible for our husbands and I think we're all four trying not to burden our adult children with our fears. It's a good thing we have each other to be honest with!
You're my hero, dear sister! And I know you're missing those big family gatherings that you have always loved to have. You're the ultimate hostess, one of your gifts is the gift of hospitality. That's leaving a hole in your daily life. I believe it will come again (except in the middle of the night when I wonder if it ever will!).
Love to you dear sister of mine!
Dewena, I feel EXACTLY like you, especially re: the vim and vigor I wake up with one day and sluggish laziness, the next! I have yet to start my shutters and windows, the first chore of my spring cleaning routine, but it's been 35C/95F for a week now, and all I can manage is meals and daily duties INDOORS, apart from watering my newly planted flowers, and that's done just before sundown.
ReplyDeleteYes, 'we're all in this together', but we're also ISOLATED, and the two just don't mesh, do they?! I am blessed to be able to take my walks, as I live in nature, but sometimes I just want to plant myself at a cafe in the city square, sipping on a smooth cappuccino, chatting away with friends, people watching - seems so long ago, part of a whole other world!
I am reading quite a lot, and the stories of people who have lost their lives to coronavirus is devastating! Did you read about the London ticket agent who died shortly after a customer who was infected with Covid-19 deliberately spat and coughed on her?! This is the stuff of nightmares!!
Spring has been a huge solace! Early morning birdsong with promises of better days, flowers blooming, veggie gardens growing, fruit trees loaded with green, silky leaves and juicy jewels, sweet, fresh scents permeating the breeze, all of these seasonal gifts of hope help to keep an open mind.
Your flowers are so pretty! I'm sure your Mother's Day visit was YOUR inspiration. Stay safe and healthy, my friend.
Poppy xx
That is right, Poppy dear! The isolation does not bring about a feeling of togetherness. Even an introvert such as I who has to make herself get out regularly for my own good misses short conversations with nice strangers in stores. But it is family members who I just need to be in the same room with, to watch their dear faces and listen to them laugh and tell me about their days, granddaughters to see before they grow a foot taller in their absence! You wrote that it all seems so long ago, part of a whole other world--and we're hurting for the loss of that world.
DeleteNo, I hadn't read about the sad London case. It is so hard to understand some people, impossible to. And oh yes, to have this hit us with Spring's arrival is something to be thankful for! Hope does abound--except in the middle of the night but I'm working on that, too.
Stay safe, dear Poppy!
As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.
ReplyDeletefrom "Walden" by Thoreau
I usually avoid writing or talking about the times we live in now - I've led this kind of hermit life, due to illness, for more years that I can remember, and most people don't like to hear what I think of it.
But I know for sure that it's a waste of energy to get upset, and there are so many better ways to spend that energy.Right now I'm sitting on my tiny kitchen veranda enjoying the spring, some good books and music.
I don't mean to criticize anybody, but I think we all who live in countries like the States and Scandinavia, should appreciate what we have, instead of concentrate of what we don't have or can't do right now.
Margaretha
Oops, comment below to Margaretha should have been put here!
DeleteMargaretha, I am glad to hear what other women are feeling during this time that certainly has affected us worldwide. We all have different stories and hearing them can help us be more aware of what our sisters over the world are going through. I loved picturing you sitting on your kitchen veranda, listening to music and reading a book! And you are so right that those of us in the States and Scandinavia have so much to be thankful for. I think most of us do a good job most of the time remembering that.
ReplyDeleteI hope you'll understand that this blog is a little different from my other blog where more people visit. I try to keep things positive and cheerful there but this is a tiny little blog that I rarely have more than a hundred page views on a post. And only a few of them leave a comment, most of them family and friends. So I guess I do use this one to let my hair down, you might say. Here is where I reveal a more tender part of my heart. And yes, yikes, I admit I also complain here sometimes, like this post! But I'll try not to do that too much. And normally I'm a glass half full kind of girl anyway.
And your first sentence? I am always ready to listen to anything you want to write about your "hermit life." Always.
I enjoyed this post so much - your photos are always so beautiful and your writing also. For me in the last 3 months I actually feel like I have developed multiple personality syndrome or something. I'm all the things you mentioned you have gone through. Some days more in the beginning ..March..I would be bored and didn't want to do much of anything because the weather was still so wintery and i couldn't get motivated. As the months went on - so far the middle of April through now has been more uplfiting and i make sure i get out and hike ...but I find I'm becoming something I never was before, a homebody. I love being home - before I felt I was missing something if I wasn't out doing something, walking, yard work, enjoying nature. Anyway, YES i do get tired of hearing we are all in this together. I know we are in a way but every one's life is so different. If I was a homeless person living on the street or in a shelter I would be quite sarcastic at times if I heard someone who drives up in an expensive car, near where I am just trying to get through another day on the streets, get out and exclaim that we are all in this together. I'm sure the people in congress who still have jobs and very well paid ones at that feel a little bit different than those who are struggling with their businesses being closed. Anyway, that sure went on lol...so today must be a cynical day in a way, just a little.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sandy, and thank you for sharing the changes in your life during this time. I find it very interesting to hear that you've surprised yourself by becoming more of a homebody. I've wondered if those who were so used to being out and about have been hit even harder by the isolation than those of us who were already stay-at-homes. I'm really curious as to how many people will be ready to do things like attend big concerts in a crowd once it's allowed. And I read that 40% of people who had to begin homeschooling their children during this time want to continue it even when schools reopen. I guess we're going to be surprised at the changes in our lives even when things are normal.
DeleteI have my times of cynicism, too. You are not alone!
well now i wonder too - about the type of people like myself who love the outdoors and love to go exploring versus staying home...yes I never thought of it like that - ...if they, like myself, are learning to love being home and being okay with it. For myself I always felt like a bit of guilt or like I "should" be outdoors and doing something ...yard work,, hiking, etc... instead of relaxing inside. The "shoulds" are a thing I need to throw away and be in the moment no matter inside or out. The reason i love your blog(s) is because of how much you love your environment and how you make it so specialized with your own personality, etc. I admire that and find I'm drawn to blogs that are more about the Inside of a house than outside. funny thing that is. maybe it was myself telling me to relax inside and appreciate everything I see from inside and also looking out while inside.
DeleteSandy, I'm sorry I didn't get back to this later comment you left. I kind of turned my back on the blogging world this week, just enjoying Memorial Day with a few family members and also enjoying the time we've had this week with our daughter and son-in-law who just moved from Montana here. I'll take every hour I can get with family! But I've thought about your comment and guess I agree. Our house has become even more special to me lately and I love that it is a cocoon of shelter. I hope dearly that most people have come to feel this way about theirs during this time. I know we all think we want to go to places we haven't been able to--I can't wait to go to antique stores myself--and yet maybe the rooms inside our house will always remain more special now.
DeleteYou know, both of my blogs are about windows, the view out and the view in. Windows are terribly symbolic to me. One is as important as the other and we need both. Studying on your comment helped me to remember that!
Oh, such a sweet calendar! I've been feeling like I need a big 're-boot' these past couple weeks. At first, I didn't mind the isolation one bit. In fact, I rather enjoyed being forced to stay home. I had lots of projects going, cleaning and organizing, finishing creative projects. But, these past few weeks I've been so up and down, and I miss the enthusiasm that I had in the beginning. I'm glad to know that I have good company with you, Dewena, in the writing department! I haven't done a thing! My saving grace has been the ability to get outside these past weeks, but it also gives me the itch to go on a road trip. I missed seeing my grandkids in Wisconsin in April. Dan and I had a trip planned in May to go back east. Canceled. And because of what all of this is doing to my son's job (the one in Wisconsin), he won't be able to bring his family here this summer as planned. Wow. I have been trying to be positive through all of this, but it feels good to let Covid know just.how.I.feel. There!
ReplyDeleteKaren, I hear you, dear friend! Even under the best of isolation circumstances--no loved ones or dear friends having come down with the terrible virus--it is still difficult to stay upbeat 24/7 on and on. I hope you will be able to see your grandkids soon. We're hoping to see most of ours on Father's Day if our kids' plans to organize it as a simple outside activity works out. And supper here with our daughter and one son and their spouses on Memorial Day was pure joy. Meanwhile, I'm really trying to get my second wind and get started back on some creative projects. Sunshine makes it seem more possible and I expect June will bring more of that. Onward!
DeleteI just stumbled upon your lovely space and felt like weighing in about “we are all in this together”. My observation has been that we are only in this together if I agree with you. If I don’t then we definitely are not. And that makes me sad. But I am also glad for the beautiful weather and plans to make our own fun this summer :)
DeleteBeth, thank you for stopping by and commenting! There are a lot of things to make us sad now. I guess we just have to keep on making our own sphere of influence as peaceful and loving as we can.
DeleteI hope this summer is blessed and safe for you.
Dear Dewena ~ The past week or so I've been feeling 'weary'. I'm worse at keeping up with the bare minimum, just haven't felt like doing anything. I miss my dear husband more than ever. Being alone gets rather boring. I do have much to be thankful for though, so many are really suffering and have losses, it makes my feelings seem really petty. I pray, read my Bible and devotionals, watch a LOT of you-tube, uplifting, gardening, cooking, reality vlogs and some movies. Each day is a gift, and I'm afraid I've wasted a lot of time and am ashamed. Thank you for your very encouraging posts. Love & hugs ~ FlowerLady
ReplyDeleteLorraine, how I wish I could reach out and hug you, dear friend! I hope so much that you will feel more like yourself soon but I also hope that you will be gentle with yourself and accept that it's okay to just do the minimum on those days when it's the hardest. You're not wasting the hours, only taking care of yourself. But I'll pray that there will be special moments of blessing for you this week. Love and hugs to you!
DeleteTimes are so strange at the moment aren't they. I do my best to keep positive and take something from every day. May has a lot of family birthdays and although celebrated the family has not been able to get together other than on Skype … thank goodness for the internet and being able to see family and share a virtual hug.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping things can return to 'normal' although it will be a 'new normal' soon.
Your flowers look lovely
All the best Jan
Jan, it certainly does help to keep positive. And every day does offer its own blessings. I too am so thankful for online visits with our children and grandchildren!
DeleteNo, we're not all in this together and no, I don't pass time nor do I understand the concept of boredom. Although, due to being north of Medicare, I am slowing down, I still manage to get work done. Today, had a lovely visit with the farrier and her boyfriend after the horses had their trim. My first time with this young woman and not only is she good, she has COMMON SENSE! She's also intelligent but when combined with common sense, a formidable combination.
ReplyDeleteDewena, time is fleeting (that reminds me..have you read my poem "Time is Fleeting...Wear Purple NOW"? I feel the passing of each day, intently, and there's so much I want to do before my time is up. So many places I want to travel. As long as God will use me, I'm available.
love to you and the Mr.
Sandra at Thistle Cove Farm
I always love your comments and your own blog posts, they make me stand up straight and be grownup! Because you are!
DeleteYour farrier sounds intriguing, there should be news coverage about people like her. I think I must have read your poem but definitely want to visit and find it again on your blog. I'm hoping it's on your sidebar or somewhere I can locate it, otherwise I'll be asking for your help. I've loved the classic When I Am Old I Will Wear Purple for years. I'm sure God has plans for you for a long long time!